Fire me!

OK, so the girl who wanted Lexapro samples (let’s call her Lexi). Remember her? She has a problem driving me around on the Housecalls.  Yes, I have a driver. I have to chart my notes between patient’s.  To illustrate her anguish, we are driving in a 25 mph speed zone and she suddenly steps on the gas to thrust us forward at 40mph.   I said, “whoa” you passed up the street!  Lexi turns her entire head in my direction and says to me—her boss, the one who signs her check, in a crisp manner, “well, YOU wanted me to drive, hah?”  What tha? ___________ (Please fill in whatever expletives you wish).  I am completely stunned by this turn of events perhaps she has missed a dose or needs a change of medication, but it is clear that a firing is drawing nigh.

I am later back at the office after visiting six homes and I hear a soft knock on my door,  she sticks her exaggerated, curly, red-head in and says, “Can I have one of your Turkey and Cheese Lunchables? I didn’t bring lunch today”  Now, what do you think I said? No or HELL no? I believe both versions of “No” would fit.

The aforementioned scenario is just one example of the employee/personnel madness in my CEO world.  I am learning that maybe I should perform some sort of mini-mental exam, Myers-Briggs, or some other military mind-bender exam before hiring anyone.  I am not sure how to do a thorough mental evaluation as well as background and character reference check.  When you run a small business, all these exams just add more to the plate that is already overwhelmed with budget balancing, marketing, and billing woes. One should notice very carefully that I have not even mentioned patient care, but I love it! I love business and I would not have it any other way.  It is extremely challenging and I love being totally accountable for the rights and the wrongs of everything.  It is a supreme feeling of responsibility and honor to serve many who have so little.  Therefore, I will not settle for mediocre workers who are disrespectful, lazy, and tardy.  They scream, “Fire me!” on every turn and I wholeheartedly listen.